{"id":266,"date":"2018-10-08T06:14:46","date_gmt":"2018-10-08T04:14:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/85.135.125.102\/?page_id=266"},"modified":"2021-08-28T19:40:54","modified_gmt":"2021-08-28T17:40:54","slug":"vtipky","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/index.php\/vtipky\/","title":{"rendered":"Vt\u00edpky"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"text cf design-01\">\n<p>26.10.2020<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1160\" height=\"653\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/_CnaVvGR7XM?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1160\" height=\"653\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/EHcUyw6gDtE?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1160\" height=\"653\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/q6N-mXTpTnM?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1160\" height=\"653\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/IWNc2xljKR8?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<figure style=\"width: 498px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/media1.tenor.com\/images\/3f815bdc3e6e4b318f90cdef99133270\/tenor.gif\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bomb has been planted<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/gfycat.com\/consciouslittlehousefly-animation-csgo-sfm\">via Gfycat<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/gfycat.com\/excellentcleverbluegill-chicken-bomb-csgo\">via Gfycat<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Deagle In A Nutshell. [CSGO SFM]\" href=\"\/gif\/deagle-in-a-nutshell-csgo-sfm-C9Mev1\"><img src=\"https:\/\/i.makeagif.com\/media\/9-28-2015\/C9Mev1.gif\" alt=\"Deagle In A Nutshell. [CSGO SFM]\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<div style=\"font-size: 11px;\">make <a title=\"make a gif\" href=\"\/\">funny GIFs<\/a> like this at MakeaGif<\/div>\n<h1>F\u00f3rky ze sv\u011bta PC<\/h1>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"text cf design-01\">\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<ul>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\">Zem\u0159e hr\u00e1\u010d po\u010d\u00edta\u010dov\u00fdch her a dostane se do pekla. Po t\u00fddnu Lucifer vol\u00e1 Bohovi: &#8222;Co za bl\u00e1zna si mi sem poslal? Zni\u010dil mi v\u0161echny kotle, za\u0161krtil v\u0161echny \u010derty a u\u017e t\u0159i dny bezhlav\u011b b\u011bh\u00e1 dokola a \u0159ve: &#8222;Kde je vchod do druh\u00e9ho levelu?&#8220; B\u016fh si ho tedy vezme do nebe. Pa\u0159an se rozhl\u00e9dne, zajisk\u0159\u00ed mu o\u010di a vyk\u0159ikne: &#8222;Bonus Level!&#8220;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/thumbs.gfycat.com\/FlowerySilverAsiaticlesserfreshwaterclam-small.gif\" width=\"435\" height=\"250\" \/><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"text cf design-01\">\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<ul>\n<li>U\u017eivatel: Vypnul se mi po\u010d\u00edta\u010d &#8211; vol\u00e1m admina. P\u0159ich\u00e1z\u00ed admin, t\u011b\u017ece vzdychne, n\u011bco si muml\u00e1 pod nos, asi desetkr\u00e1t se ot\u00e1\u010d\u00ed na m\u00e9 \u017eidli, kopne do po\u010d\u00edta\u010de a ten se zap\u00edn\u00e1. Znovu si t\u011b\u017ece povzdychne, st\u00e1le muml\u00e1 a odch\u00e1z\u00ed.On je prost\u011b \u0161aman! Je to kouzeln\u00edk!<br \/>\nAdmin: Zavolali m\u011b k u\u017eivateli &#8211; ten trouba se po\u0159\u00e1d to\u010dil na \u017eidli, a\u017e se mu na n\u00ed namotal kabel ze z\u00e1suvky. Ti\u0161e nad\u00e1v\u00e1m, ot\u00e1\u010d\u00edm se na \u017eidli na druhou stranu, abych rozmotal kabel, odkop\u00e1v\u00e1m po\u010d\u00edta\u010d co nejd\u00e1l pod st\u016fl, aby to zase nenamotal, zap\u00edn\u00e1m ho, nad\u00e1v\u00e1m, odch\u00e1z\u00edm. Je to prost\u011b blb.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Povedlo se n\u00e1m zachytit na minul\u00e9 Compij\u00e1d\u011b Baryka s Olanem p\u0159i h\u0159e&#8230;<br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-141\" src=\"http:\/\/85.135.125.102\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/baryk-olan-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"384\" height=\"288\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/baryk-olan-300x225.jpg 300w, http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/baryk-olan.jpg 480w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 384px) 100vw, 384px\" \/><\/li>\n<li>A medv\u00eddka p\u0159i kempen\u00ed &#8230;<br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-144\" src=\"http:\/\/85.135.125.102\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/122afb446bad849c93c6d1f170522287-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"384\" height=\"288\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/122afb446bad849c93c6d1f170522287-300x225.jpg 300w, http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/122afb446bad849c93c6d1f170522287.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 384px) 100vw, 384px\" \/><br \/>\n&#8230;na\u0161li ho<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"text cf design-01\">\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Hardware &#8211; Ty \u010d\u00e1sti po\u010d\u00edta\u010de, do kter\u00fdch si m\u016f\u017eete kopnout.<\/li>\n<li>Chybov\u00e9 hl\u00e1\u0161en\u00ed &#8211; \u017d\u00e1dost o potvrzen\u00ed likvidace va\u0161ich dat.<\/li>\n<li>Multitasking &#8211; mo\u017enost nechat spadnout v\u00edce program\u016f najednou!<\/li>\n<li>Multim\u00e9dia &#8211; kdy\u017e Windows spadnou, je to s hudbou a animacemi!<\/li>\n<li>Pam\u011b\u0165 &#8211; Ta \u010d\u00e1st po\u010d\u00edta\u010de, kter\u00e9 nen\u00ed nikdy dost.<\/li>\n<li>Software &#8211; Ta \u010d\u00e1st po\u010d\u00edta\u010de, kter\u00e1 \u02ddzatuhne\u02dd v tu nejm\u00e9n\u011b vhodnou chv\u00edli.<\/li>\n<li>Procesor &#8211; Ta \u010d\u00e1st po\u010d\u00edta\u010de, kter\u00e1 je v\u017edycky zastaral\u00e1.<\/li>\n<li>P\u0159\u00eddavn\u00e1 za\u0159\u00edzen\u00ed &#8211; D\u00edly nekompatibiln\u00ed s va\u0161\u00edm po\u010d\u00edta\u010dem.<\/li>\n<li>Soubor &#8211; To, co v po\u010d\u00edta\u010di nikdy nem\u016f\u017eete naj\u00edt.<\/li>\n<li>\u0160\u0148\u016fra &#8211; Ta sou\u010d\u00e1st po\u010d\u00edta\u010de, kter\u00e1 je p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 kr\u00e1tk\u00e1.<\/li>\n<li>Tisk\u00e1rna &#8211; Sou\u010d\u00e1st v\u00fdbavy po\u010d\u00edta\u010de, kter\u00e1 se ucpe, jakmile se ned\u00edv\u00e1te.<\/li>\n<li>Z\u00e1lohov\u00e1n\u00ed &#8211; Operace, kterou nikdy nestihnete v\u010das.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"text cf design-01\">\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<ul>\n<li><strong>WARCRAFT:<\/strong>\u00a0Ork s papou\u0161kem na rameni vejde do baru. Barman se ho zept\u00e1: &#8222;Odkud ho m\u00e1\u0161?&#8220; &#8222;Z Durotaru, je jich tam plno.&#8220; Odpov\u00ed papou\u0161ek<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"text cf design-01\">\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<ul>\n<li>De\u0161tiv\u00fd den &#8211; kr\u00e1sn\u00fd den pro hr\u00e1\u010de. Slune\u010dn\u00fd den &#8211; kr\u00e1sn\u00fd den pro hr\u00e1\u010de. Dopad meteoritu &#8211; kr\u00e1sn\u00fd den pro hr\u00e1\u010de.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"text cf design-01\">\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<ul>\n<li>Nehrajte CS:GO v letadle. Pasa\u017e\u00e9\u0159i asi nebudou nad\u0161en\u00ed, a\u017e se od v\u00e1s ozve: BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"text cf design-01\">\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<ul>\n<li>Klient: &#8222;Dobr\u00fd den, m\u016fj syn se u v\u00e1s zaregistroval a j\u00e1 nem\u00e1m jeho p\u0159\u00edstupov\u00e9 heslo, abych se p\u0159ipojil&#8230; je mu 13 let&#8230; a j\u00e1 bych se taky r\u00e1d pod\u00edval na Internet.&#8220; Hotline : [ Po ov\u011b\u0159en\u00ed osobn\u00edch \u00fadaj\u016f ] &#8222;Ano, pane, zapi\u0161te si pros\u00edm sv\u00e9 p\u0159\u00edstupov\u00e9 heslo: D, I, R, A (mus\u00ed hl\u00e1skovat, mrtv\u00fd sm\u00edchem&#8230;) D,O, R, I, T, I..&#8220; Klient: &#8222;Grrr ! Zatracen\u00e9j spratek! Hned jak p\u0159ijde, dostane p\u00e1r facek!!!&#8220;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"text cf design-01\">\n<div class=\"text-content\">\n<ul>\n<li>&#8222;Tak co, u\u017e ti ta tv\u00e1 nov\u00e1 zn\u00e1most z ICQ poslala fotku?&#8220; &#8222;Jo, ale v\u016fbec nen\u00ed o co st\u00e1t. Je tak hnusn\u00e1, \u017ee kdy\u017e na ni kliknu, tak se mi zap\u00edn\u00e1 firewall&#8220;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>26.10.2020 via Gfycat via Gfycat make funny GIFs like this at MakeaGif F\u00f3rky ze sv\u011bta PC Zem\u0159e hr\u00e1\u010d po\u010d\u00edta\u010dov\u00fdch her a dostane se do pekla. Po t\u00fddnu Lucifer vol\u00e1 Bohovi: &#8222;Co za bl\u00e1zna si mi sem poslal? Zni\u010dil mi v\u0161echny kotle, za\u0161krtil v\u0161echny \u010derty a u\u017e t\u0159i dny bezhlav\u011b b\u011bh\u00e1 dokola a \u0159ve: &#8222;Kde je [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-templates\/page_fullwidth.php","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/266"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=266"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/266\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":513,"href":"http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/266\/revisions\/513"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.compijada.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=266"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}